racking up the numbers

I've got nothing to post about (that's an oxymoron because then I'd be posting about not having anything to post about. which is a clever cheap marketing tatict if i wanted people to read this post... *don't do it Chrystal*) but I'm perfectly content posting anyway. (ha. that bracketed bit was so long you forgot it was a... bracketed bit. ha! *mannn my funny is on point today!* yawn)

What this is, is a neat trick to have more than 5 posts for September. you watch and see if I don't post later tonight and knock this blog for six, right up there with the '70 posts for August' people.

Actually, today was a better day of unemployment than yesterday's lesson in couch potatoism. got ma eyebrows did, my sandals tacked (since new sandals will be scarce in coming) and off to brave east bound traffic for a meet up with Mr &M rs Client.

Darnit. forgot to eat again

no no no...

you're not abandoned. I'm just mastering my awful time management skills. and now, I'm on a budget. so much little pieces of nothing's happening. Biggest upset: Not going to Barbados because the 'steal of a deal' ticket is non transferable. Biggest win: Got somebody who's sorta got ma back. he changes my tires and brings me take out.

Today. Today I had to go shoot the newest location of Rituals for the newsletter. and i thought i did such an awesome job of smoothing the supervisor, but shows what i know, because she still called head office a little after i left. I'd fail as a con artiste.

And... wait, was that the highlight of my day? I should've slept this one out. nah, I'm working

good guys

Urgggg. when i'm not thinking too hard, thoughts stray in my head about the comfort and security of having a government job. TSTT may not be govt but with a union as hostile as we had, it was cushy gig. you went in, worked the phones 8 - 4, had an hour lunch and two 15 mins break, five days a week and for this they compensated us nicely.

this entrepreneurial drive is a lot of work. No hours or structure for coffee breaks and lunch. I'm forgetting to eat again.

so this what going 'good': got the contract to do Rituals bi-monthly newsletter/magazine, so I'm Editor... of something. again.

My fav store in West Mall and Trincity Mall, accepted the button pins so i ought to be doing their order... but no, painting my apt, building bookshelves and other manly things that i am totally against but Raqs says 'who need guys?!' i say me, i didn't go to school to sit here at midnight pounding wooden pegs.

Picchures with post soon, no promises, but soon.

And today

Up feels like down and down feels like down. Pool lime lastnight went from 11pm to 11am. slept in the pool i think. messed up my new cut. had puucheon pumch and Raqs made breakfast. Kerlon passed through and 'discussed' painting my room. And today, late I'm sure, I'm designing buttons for Terminal 4 clothing store. Tomorrow, if it decides to be an ass and show up, it's in Pulse's office to get ball rolling with that. Gotta remember to find a new website designer. and finish with the call cards. and send the graphics guy the splice image for the brochures. future looks shitty from this angle of the futon.

Dribbles

Thursday September 2.

Chad is dead. That’s how I got the news. To the point. Before that I was trying to figure out the name of the mas man who split from big Mike. Mc Kenzie. Was online finishing fast page for ETNT, my final piece for them as a member of staff and searching out a laser printer.

I cried like I haven’t since… cant recall might have been about 9 and had to move. Chad. Came over Tuesday, thrashed out rap winners and losers, called me all versions of weird “you’re like all the weird people I know wrapped up in one” and compared me to the ‘crazy’ lady on BC who gave up everything to live in a one room shack in her friend’s backyard “you leave your job to make buttons? LOL. Eh you crazy girl.” Chad. Who had my car, brought it back late and dared me to go to the mall in boxers. We stopped for him to get lip balm at the pharmacy “don’t act like its normal you nerd” we trade off with half hugs and ‘see ya later’ me enjoying the way he thinks I’m weird, he knowing this and that I do love him “no girl I not getting fat, is sexy. I looking sexy ent?” Laugh laugh dribbly laugh.

Life is fucking bizarre and even though we may know this it likes to remind us that we don’t control shit. I’d like to aim my anger at some abstract creator force but I’d be hypocritical to blame something I don’t believe in. but damn it would’ve felt good. Screaming cries of ‘why…’rings incomplete.

Monday September 6

Today I left The Hideout with intend to rejoin the race. Enjoyed 40 minutes of traffic, made it to the savannah in POS and cat napped in the front seat waiting for sunrise or something inspiring. Sleep read a Eric Jerome Dickey and watched traffic go from 20 cars a minute to gridlock snail crawl. Saw a lone girl in school uniform walking head down dejectedly and reminisced 6 weeks of light traffic.

The plan for today is to go hustle UWI’s young impressionable first year students and maybe do some updates on PULSE website.

Yesterday I didn’t cry. Before dawn today I did. Promised K I’d tell him what all the moaning was about before I left. And in the telling is still the pain. I love you and I miss you dribbles.