House's Year End

Sure it's year end and we should all be doing something meaningful.... yet, here I sit editing some work in front the tube - House.

So this guy gets in an accident right, and it may be fatal, has a brain aneurysm (term, proof of too much House) or some such shenanigan - 30% attention. Now this girl he used to date, some 11, ELEVEN years ago shows up - but apparently they're on the Force together so somewhat still in touch - well Missy shows up with, "You have a son. I was pregnant when we broke up." I MEAN WHAT DA HECK!? REALLY? Now? You think he needs the added headache? :/ Then she saying oh, she know he didn't want to have kids blah blah... but please just say 'Hi' to him... WHAT DA HELL!? What shorta bloody jacked up logic is that??? The nerve of woman. PSH!

Now I HAVE to blog after this, cause really, can I end the year ranting on House. I Can.

A Christmas of Wedding Works

Babes, my favourite folks at weddings.

Head table Decor - green much?

Sister of the Groom for MC - delightful accent!

Gourmet Mac & Cheese my friends, gourmet mac & cheese with Parmesan on top!

The Cake - one of, always two. Who set these rules?

And more of the babes

It was christmas and all...

Sitting with my cuz shoulder-surfing who says I should rename this blog because people will think I'm stupid... 14, and said with such revere I spluttered my lukewarm coffee. and reminded him to not tell people we we're related.

Went 'Home For Christmas' but my aunt didn't fall for it. Once she figured out I had a wedding to shoot in Siparia - minutes away, instead of hours away if I stayed in the city - she decided that this didn't count as a visit and so I'm due a return visit. a real visit. But ahh, oh the childhood memories that rushed in, un-welcomed and un-beckoned, mostly. It really was a whirlwind weekend.

Wedding shoot in Siparia for 2PM home and nest then up to meet baby sis in Point, drop her 'home' then shoot up the highway for a 12Noon wedding shoot starting in La Horquetta, to Malabar, to La Joya then to drop the videographer back to La Horquetta. And stop in to fondle Johnny's new D7000 after 10Pm. To Chaguanas to sleep it off because His house is way quieter than mine.

The differences in the weddings, Siparia and La Joya were my biggest delights for the weekend.
What did I get for Christmas? A new frame of mind


The result: I'm sick and forced to confront the cliche 'been run over by a bus'. yet.

Just saw Coach Carter

feeling all black and inspired.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VEcjtVtEmLA

Desiderata... since I was 14

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant, they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.

If you compare yourself to others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the the world is full of trickery. But let not this blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass. Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore, be at peace with God, whatever you conceive him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all it's sham drudgery and broken dreams; it is still a beautiful world.

Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

-- Max Ehrmann

oh merry christmas to you too!

the closer christmas comes the gloomier I get. I can't even avoid it, it's like the onset of parang and evergreens in the malls triggers depression... this 'snowballs' into the 25th then I'm left fighting my damnest to shake it before December 30th comes around.

On the upside I've got loads of work going on and only remember to be depressive when I'm hungry, ducking work or checking folks BBM statuses. I've got wedding shoots on the the 26th and 27th and haven't figured out exactly where I'll be hiding out on December twenty frigging fifth. Thought I'd take a solo drive to the beach but I hear it's pretty crowded... sighs. Oh but the foods! Smiles

Heard in the City

Week before Christmas, and I was still looking for that Christmas Spirit, not sure what I'd do if I did find it... Decided to take public transport to my drop off in the city. Memorable though the entire evening was, the overheard exchanges were best. My fav:

Girl across street screams to guy on other side
Dirt! Where Yellows?
He gone tuh check Zippers?
Thought Zippers by Rat?
Nah Rat come back in.
So who picking up Yellows bags 'cause I ready to go?
Call Sharpie nah, he up by Moose booth

...my nickname's 'Bunny", so lackluster

Oh Flick

Just remember I joined Flickr. Again. Pretty sure I've lost my password and forfeited my account. again.

Otherwise, I've just finished editing the Wedding of December 4th. Relived the... harsh memories. some people eh... While I sang to myself "I've finished all my work, I can go out and play" I don't have a DVD to burn it on. I'm trying a vast re-write my DVD movies project, else I guess I have to go open up my laptop and burn on spot at some low traffic PC store tomorrow. Now, now we head to the Avenue to find the 2-4-1 dives.

Note to Self: don't get Shakers disgusting Wings. Here's one of the better people at the Wedding

I was way off with this one

Yesterday a 'friend' who I haven't seen for a couple days... OK so I've been avoiding him for a couple days, messages that he's left something on my stoop. that's step. As I get in, measuredly excited - I suspect people who say they hate surprises, lie. I would like to say the same, and mean it. But I can't. Who, having shook the can totally upside down, would not be pleasantly surprised to find one had rolled way back on a lower shelf? Or who, expecting a B would not arch a well plucked eyebrow at a B+ on their C paper? I digress.

So I'm thinking, is it a Tee, maybe I'm gonna get my Levis... ooooh a book? That would be nice. I drive in, observe the parcel has a rectangular look, so maybe it's cereal. I smile to myself, he's such a dork. smile. because cereal Is just the sort of non committal childish pleasures this 'relationship' hinges on and, if I'm to admit, maybe Levis from him, I'm not ready for that level of commitment.

Bells go off at the first sighting of clear shiny gift paper. Fears are confirmed by the soft cushy bulk: he got me a teddy. And cards and chocolates. We're so over.

Don't think

That I'm just doing this for show. well. mainly I'm proving to myself here that I can periodically update something - which may be worst. Many think having quit my job I've amassed secret pockets of leisure time... again I have. I confess that the structured life of an 8 to 4, understanding time in its relevance to its wastage at the office, might not be a very bad thing. Now I can easily kill the same 8 hours, unknowingly. and worse, now it's 8 hours of my own time...

Racing!

5 minutes to month end and in 2 other tabs I'm uploading images to beat the record of all records for blog count. aiming for 9...

Of note, I'm outrageously hungry. Whenever I take a moment to think about it, it seems I'm hungry. But someone said time's passing faster than I think, glued to my laptop and all.

also of note, I collected 3 cheques today, and still can't make the rent. I need either a more rewarding hobby or a cheaper place

Sweet 16 - upper middle class style

,,, was it November

oh man. i had this niftly lil blog done, and the internet went down. That was some 6 odd hours ago, golly if I could remember, but, Mozilla loads and it brings with it remnants...

Think it was a heavily veiled attack on November. Brought me Kevin last year and mightily supported my spiral into nothingness this year.

For the last 6 hours, guess all what's happened. Nothing

chi chi chi

Every time I turn around it's another week. As such I've thought myself a valuable lesson this week - to not be afraid of doing nothing. Yes, very anti-what-we've-been-thought but I'm retired, the point is for more down time. If I'm always bustling or feeling guilty about not bustling... I have not opportunity to find... (oh this is good) my chi!

Yes and to prove (to myself) how serious I am, I skipped the Edward Maya concert, took the 300 ticket fund and I'm heading to Moksha Yoga center bright & early Monday morning, or Tuesday; Monday's such a wonderful sleep in day. (Honestly, skipping the concert was easy 'casue we had rooftop Rave the night before with Gareth Emery and. it was. so osssum. could tide over till underground rave on Dec 3rd.)

So that's that. more chi less fuss.

Monday Made

So many awesome things can happen on a Monday, if you'd just not rush to work and let it happen. Got a call from an old Chef associate who wants me. to, possibly, do the cover for his first book. eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!
Commissioned to do a book cover. I feel Made. Like I can quit my day job. But this is my day job :)

And even if it doesn't come through (lack of funding maybe?) I would still have been 'commissioned to do a book cover'














Other cool stuff's happening (por ejemplo: got propositioned -sex for a Maroon 5 Platinum concert ticket. that's right, Pla-tinn-num.I would. but I'm not a fan. Didn't want to waste the propositioning, sure a concert will come around when I'd need it.) but, won't blog about it, to cheapen this moment, let's have a silent hooray for unemployment

day's work

And one ant-work quote tossed in for messure.
The Big Lebowski 'You're young, you've got your health ... Why do you want to get a job?'

Oh I'll tell

why today's awesome.

Seconds after I found out my dental appointment was 9am and not 1pm as I was mentally gearing up for, I decided to wallow the day away in bed, willing an onset of depression. Then my BB vibrates, it's Kev. He's in the city and will be passing to say hi. It's 8.40ish AM. So naturally I assume, this means free commercial breakfast. He waltz in with arms swinging (luckily I didn't bother getting up to brush else I'd be a tad bummy) "I forgot breakfast."

In and out of sleep we exchange halfhearted back-rubs. Until I remember "I have to deliver Buttons at Arvin's school." I BB Arvin, hoping tomorrow would work, "Nah, bring it today na." His order design is finished and formatted but not printed. I need to buy a printer. Shower, Kev helps make tea, drain it into my carry mug and I'm off to walk to the printers around the block... ok, so none of this is the awesome part.

Today's awesome because:
I finally saw the Rituals Print
Van likes the work I sent for the Ghetto Vybz store
95.1FM called for Button inquires
I'm finally getting my custom made t-shirt from NiQ
I'm having Tuesdays for Dinner
And... something's rejuvenated my excitement about photography. I feel this is key to the feeling.

I thinks

... that this blog is another scathing example of the lack of control i have over my life, and time. how can i not rack up at least 10 posts a month! like a normal person?! How difficult can that be? You know what November, It's ON.
Oh it's on, you just watch and see! There'll be posts, and pictures, and and stuff! you watch!

Lesbian Aspirations!

Ohhh ma effff!
The L Word is on!
On WB or some crap because we don't have real cable. and surely it must be re-runs but I glimpse up at the tube on mute and BAM! there's Shane in a white tee shirt making lesbians cool and opening up a barrage of teenage misguided (I know now) fantasies. I was a virgin teen who knew no better...
but dammit Shane hottt!
Gosh!
Like Jolie/Salt :D

Stuff i yap about

Studio




Wedding





Photography






and Buttons!

I could go to sleep and die

and today would still not be satisfied. bloody heck, I felt like a regular 8-4 member of the rat race. And this doggone BB is gonna be a friend breaker... I can tell.

but rather than whine... there are highlights, from the gross pregnant lady that 'accidentally' bumped into me and totally cancelled any possibility of eating for a couple hours. then tthe girl with the dreadful long toe nails with the awful saggy bag sandals; she was so nice. Eventually had some bess curry at the Tiki Masala place in Long Circular mall where the counter girl found it funny that I still didn't know what anything was. Sat hoping for some minutes of solitude when up walks a stranger, "I know I iz a man and I am supposed to like this but. your top button is open. I seeing yuh business."

Came this close to asking a gunta (white tee, three quarters) to umbrella me to my car... the humanity.

Quicky stint on the Aveune for some vodka to chase the blues with Kev, turned into random Pricesmart run for prints. I don't have a pricesmart cart, think that's an important bit of intel.

and my brother's stapler that's been idling in the car for months, ah I've finally found a use for it... sweet.

Oh, the first Rituals magazine is off to print. moonwalk

why i hate my friends

I had 3 bananas rotting. waiting for prime time to make a mean punch out of. first off, it was 5, but someone ate one, then another. so i put it on top the fridge, where it's so dusty, very few bother. So now I'm at 3. yesterday I tried the texture and nodded in support of the appearing black spots. Should I have made it then? possible, but there was the last of the pistachio icecream up for grabs in the freezer. If I didn't hit that then, I wouldn't be hitting it at all. so I went for it.

Today, today I rose thinking about the meanness about to be unleashed on this punch here today. Keisha borrowed my car yesterday and she's dropping it off early then I'll drop her at her office. I woke and there was Keisha, yamming my figs, goo and all. Then she says, "Girl, these figs rotten girl." makes a face and then, "Yuh ready?"

racking up

the blog numbers, not my bra size. which incidentally I'm rather appreciative of today since yesterday, I idly checked out the cost of push up bras, while in the lingerie store getting Not push up bras... those things are freaking expensive. 300TT for a bra?! Or maybe i move in the wrong circles.

What's happening: ... *cricket chirps*

What's not happening: Me starting that clever blog idea i have, think it deserves a more committed author, like someone with a regular 8-4, ideally a 'governtment' job when they can dedicate billable office hours to blog management.
: among other things

more fail

did i say i'd try to make it back and rack up more numbers for September?
so clearly i missed that and gotta live with a damning September - 5 Posts till forever...

3.30AM back to music, pop corn and editing.

oh yeah, the wedding now has 400 guest count. i mean... really? you cant have 400 people you want at your wedding. they probably got to 394 and thought, 'heck lets invite 6 people from the Chinese association to just round it off"

racking up the numbers

I've got nothing to post about (that's an oxymoron because then I'd be posting about not having anything to post about. which is a clever cheap marketing tatict if i wanted people to read this post... *don't do it Chrystal*) but I'm perfectly content posting anyway. (ha. that bracketed bit was so long you forgot it was a... bracketed bit. ha! *mannn my funny is on point today!* yawn)

What this is, is a neat trick to have more than 5 posts for September. you watch and see if I don't post later tonight and knock this blog for six, right up there with the '70 posts for August' people.

Actually, today was a better day of unemployment than yesterday's lesson in couch potatoism. got ma eyebrows did, my sandals tacked (since new sandals will be scarce in coming) and off to brave east bound traffic for a meet up with Mr &M rs Client.

Darnit. forgot to eat again

no no no...

you're not abandoned. I'm just mastering my awful time management skills. and now, I'm on a budget. so much little pieces of nothing's happening. Biggest upset: Not going to Barbados because the 'steal of a deal' ticket is non transferable. Biggest win: Got somebody who's sorta got ma back. he changes my tires and brings me take out.

Today. Today I had to go shoot the newest location of Rituals for the newsletter. and i thought i did such an awesome job of smoothing the supervisor, but shows what i know, because she still called head office a little after i left. I'd fail as a con artiste.

And... wait, was that the highlight of my day? I should've slept this one out. nah, I'm working

good guys

Urgggg. when i'm not thinking too hard, thoughts stray in my head about the comfort and security of having a government job. TSTT may not be govt but with a union as hostile as we had, it was cushy gig. you went in, worked the phones 8 - 4, had an hour lunch and two 15 mins break, five days a week and for this they compensated us nicely.

this entrepreneurial drive is a lot of work. No hours or structure for coffee breaks and lunch. I'm forgetting to eat again.

so this what going 'good': got the contract to do Rituals bi-monthly newsletter/magazine, so I'm Editor... of something. again.

My fav store in West Mall and Trincity Mall, accepted the button pins so i ought to be doing their order... but no, painting my apt, building bookshelves and other manly things that i am totally against but Raqs says 'who need guys?!' i say me, i didn't go to school to sit here at midnight pounding wooden pegs.

Picchures with post soon, no promises, but soon.

And today

Up feels like down and down feels like down. Pool lime lastnight went from 11pm to 11am. slept in the pool i think. messed up my new cut. had puucheon pumch and Raqs made breakfast. Kerlon passed through and 'discussed' painting my room. And today, late I'm sure, I'm designing buttons for Terminal 4 clothing store. Tomorrow, if it decides to be an ass and show up, it's in Pulse's office to get ball rolling with that. Gotta remember to find a new website designer. and finish with the call cards. and send the graphics guy the splice image for the brochures. future looks shitty from this angle of the futon.

Dribbles

Thursday September 2.

Chad is dead. That’s how I got the news. To the point. Before that I was trying to figure out the name of the mas man who split from big Mike. Mc Kenzie. Was online finishing fast page for ETNT, my final piece for them as a member of staff and searching out a laser printer.

I cried like I haven’t since… cant recall might have been about 9 and had to move. Chad. Came over Tuesday, thrashed out rap winners and losers, called me all versions of weird “you’re like all the weird people I know wrapped up in one” and compared me to the ‘crazy’ lady on BC who gave up everything to live in a one room shack in her friend’s backyard “you leave your job to make buttons? LOL. Eh you crazy girl.” Chad. Who had my car, brought it back late and dared me to go to the mall in boxers. We stopped for him to get lip balm at the pharmacy “don’t act like its normal you nerd” we trade off with half hugs and ‘see ya later’ me enjoying the way he thinks I’m weird, he knowing this and that I do love him “no girl I not getting fat, is sexy. I looking sexy ent?” Laugh laugh dribbly laugh.

Life is fucking bizarre and even though we may know this it likes to remind us that we don’t control shit. I’d like to aim my anger at some abstract creator force but I’d be hypocritical to blame something I don’t believe in. but damn it would’ve felt good. Screaming cries of ‘why…’rings incomplete.

Monday September 6

Today I left The Hideout with intend to rejoin the race. Enjoyed 40 minutes of traffic, made it to the savannah in POS and cat napped in the front seat waiting for sunrise or something inspiring. Sleep read a Eric Jerome Dickey and watched traffic go from 20 cars a minute to gridlock snail crawl. Saw a lone girl in school uniform walking head down dejectedly and reminisced 6 weeks of light traffic.

The plan for today is to go hustle UWI’s young impressionable first year students and maybe do some updates on PULSE website.

Yesterday I didn’t cry. Before dawn today I did. Promised K I’d tell him what all the moaning was about before I left. And in the telling is still the pain. I love you and I miss you dribbles.

D' Day, and I may be damned

acckkkk! so excited. Last day as an employee. don't know what the future holds, line's blurry, you know, the line, the horizon thing they say you see. yeah, well that's all blurry. I'm excited no asssss though! Excited to succeed or fail, and like i told Kesh and Youth, it'll be interesting to roll with the 'on a budget' crowd for a while. Later, if need be, i'll enjoy the 'urrrg i can't pay my rent *dials BF* crowd' but mostly it's like i told my other brother, and Faye, and Van, and Trish, and Raq, and Kev, Joel, Jaba, Chad, Lester and I'll say to anyone - I can't fail. that's right, little black girl's got ambition movies are based on, coming from a life movies been based on. SO bleh, before this gets too chummy... I'm off, to clear up the last remnants of my being here, yup at the office, though the chances of me coming were a good 70/30.

I'm seriously rethinking the call card idea that i wasn't serious about. the buttons turning out to be my ideal twitter outlet for years of nurtured sacarsm waiting for an outlet - oh yes, the buttons, thought i was joking huh. well we'll just see won't we, exclamation mark exclamation mark exclamation mark.

also thought, during my power thinking time, that i should do a separate blog, chronicling life on the breadline, ya know, in case it turns out ok maybe it'll inspire one other easily inspired person to hop out the rat race and ride on the cat's back. possible name: life on the breadline, that's the only one i got before power thinking time was up.

since this post insists on being long, I might way as well say... ok done. Boss came to chit chat. nothing rocks like goodbye! :)

toodles!

4 more days to go

in the life of employment. waiting to feel those first panicky fingers of uncertainty... probably lost beneath the inner scream fest of freedom going on in ma head. i look forward to boredom, oh i so do! i freaking dare it to venture near me, i double dare you! please?

Anyway the only dawning I've had so far, while zoning out reading Hitchhiker's Guide on the bowl (the book was swiped from The Cafe, how dare whoever did it! in this apt of 3, where only 2 read, and one's got the role of accuser on the bowl. i swipe stuff from the library all the time but that's a whole other galaxy, instant income tax returns). To the dawning, the notion that I'll finally have time to shop, keep up with the trends, get loads of shoes I'll only wear once a year and all day spa days is all hampered by the minute fact that I won't have an in flow of cash and pretty quickly I'll run out of spending dough. Solution?

rather than ration it out in that case we did somewhere in psych class, I'll binge spending for a punch effect! (theory: you have one piece of bread and you're starving with no sight of bread in the near future. you can either have little pieces of the bread over the next few days, but you'll always be left hungry OR have all the bread in one go - you'll be enormously but temporarily satisfied... now that i think about it maybe it's something i read in a Holocaust novel.) Anyway, immense satisfaction seems like the way to go.

Well I'm still in the office, might as well make the best of frostwire while I'm still here, tis so very much faster here.

not quite

a post. more a run by to whine about something. but between logging in this morning and actually getting around to it some hours later. things have looked up! Zazzle is refusing to support my foray into random business by continuously canceling my order. so being the mastermind that i am, as is most rational human beings, if you just give yourself a try... what was i saying? oh right so i ordered the machine to make my product! ha! we'll see who knows nothing about anything now zazzle! yup so that went down today, super excited about that. nevermind the fact that zazzle is holding my initial 1200US... but I tend to worry not my likkle heart about such matters as frivolous as money.

Also... uhmm no i think that's it. oh wait, i think i may have decided to be rich after all. how hard can it be?

bloody august...

... you came before i had time to post my 'killer July entry'. think it can hold off until next July. swear, i really would love to blog, got me a bundle of super smart quirky quotes all prepared (oh bet your sweet ass they were!) but between my BB falling into the quaint mossy pond in the hollows, and so setting me free from Instant World, and losing 7.6 gigs of RAW data.. wedding shots no less things have been chaotic, and that's just the last 3 days...

Toying with leaving the mag too, didn't sign up for this much work, who ever knowingly does? Ready but chicken shit to make the step into entrepreneurship and sadly enough (my mom would be ashamed if she raised me right) faced with being self employment or getting hitched... getting hitched is actually shaping up as the more attractive option. rent free, tax free baby! But more on that another time... or not.
Right now i'm blowing my 2010 savings on Zazzle buying buttons, which! if the photography thing doesnt work out (blasphemy no more meaningful than my geezus outbursts) I'll be swamping T&T with buttons. yeah, so all (any?) of you traders who think you got a niche market, on lock, better be prepared! that exclamation is just about all the vigor you gonna get out of that idea.

things you don't want on your birth day

TTPS traffic ticket for speeding. Ticket for using the 'shoulder.
Ticket for using the PBR. Ticket for driving without your seat belt.
Awkward birthday greetings at the office.
Too much greetings on your wall, feelings tend to get hurt at the ignored offhand shouts of happy birthday in CAPS.
Phone calls from your psycho ex. phone calls from your psychotic mother dearest, after a healthy 19 years.
Herpes, not good on any day.
TSTT mobile bill. The cable bill.
Call from amazon, your order has been canceled.
$500 from your bf, 200 stolen, 300 for 'breakfast'
cause he couldn't make it.
list is short, but the day's only just getting started...

...happy birthday me.

all of this

had to change my blog-look, i know, 'if i didn't see ii i wouldn't want it" well that's neither here nor there at this point 'cause i did and i did. It's July, this where the crowds go "July/May/'uary, de best month!" Frankly, it being the end of school semester and the beginning of 'summer' it can arguably be... doesn't have the pressures of December or the intimidation and judgment of January, it's near competitors :) See July is my birthday month, and where, just about 4 years ago i gave up on 25 as my golden year, i postponed it to my golden birthday... where not many get the opportunity to do as they please miss 4 on the 4th and 12 on the 12th. And like all things postponed it rolls around and you're still like, "busy, check me back." It's gonna be here and it's got to be attended to.

Sadly, i have friends who won't let it go, nature of ghastly humans, revel in reveling in their brothers'/sisters' misery. I'm torn in between deciding to take the high road and celebrating with them, except that'll be penance for me and i think the least i can get, is what i want, if that's not asking to much... or deciding to be childish and disappear for a couple days, the norm. EXCEPT! this time i'll be getting my hair cut and dyed somewhere and maybe some ink or piercings :)

lot of ish going down, but ya know me, i try to stay out of people's bizz, especially when it concerns me and i not up to addressing you in a civil matter. Yes, this post is actually as grand as you're thinking because even as i write i'm nodding my dead with steel conviction that i WILL be back, posting frequent and eloquent *he he* bits all through the month, nope, no sire will July be like June or that month before it. but, ya know. I'll even toss in a random pic or 4 of where i've been lately, make it nicely and wholesome, chuckle.

Feel good

feel good. I'd say even the air smells great but I' stuck indoors, in an AC room with no windows. Had an amazing weekend, sweet mix of work and play. worked this hoodass wedding, twas the worst I've seen, yet. Geez, cuss out, groom vs. mom-in-law, as usual. I mean, am i supposed to snap this with my 'photo-journalist' approach? geezus knows it twas highly the highlight of the evening. but as usual with ma negros, the food was off the chain, uhm uhmm! grandma most ov put her foot in that fish dish, finger lick.

Went to a house party after. oh wait, saw some kids making out like heavy in a car parked out side first. then went to a house party. two girls, celebrating together. i was like "oh how swell! wish i had me a girl friend i was so intensely close with. they sure get along well"

Cake cutting time, they stick the cake with each other, crowd laughs "kiss! kiss! kiss!" and they kissed... like kissed kissed. I'm so totally for freedom of sexuality but the hushed silence of good friends gathered... priceless. the chicken there was awesome too, actually took mine to the car... and then had for breakfast around 2 on Sunday after non.

took the niece to movies and then it was Sundance the House music at GreenHouse. Epic as always, rolling with Kerlon again, now there's a guy that loves dance. We stole the show again, oh they can't touch us, especially when we're grinding lol!

Pictures some day, in this horrid Abstract office right now.

slowly losing you blog. yawn. these days I'm working on wrecking my liver, catching up with years of non-drinking. Loving it, all sorts of things are excusable under the 'liquor induced state' fondly called 'wasted'.

Hanging with new buddy, Kerlon, guy's good people. I write to remember this when in the next few months I'm saying "dude's a complete jerk!" :)

We worked together on a restaurant feature for The Carlton Savannah, these are mine.

someone spilled my milk

and bloody near set me off. but these things, disagreements, lasts too long and often morph into something completely unrelated. and with that completely vague statement we move on...

I quit my job 2 days ago :). I feel super energized and all tingly inside. Soon I will finally be living my dream of 'starving artiste' well starving photographer anyway. Juices are flowing, adrenaline waiting for the first month I can't afford rent, gosh always wondered what would happen. I phantom it's not the same as ring up at the Cashier and placing stuff back on the shelf when my tab crosses 400, I can stick to a budget when i have too, especially if 400 is all I've got on.

Oh well as we eagerly await, see some of what the last weekends have been like

to be or to be

long weekend just over, in my beautiful party-republic nation. partied hearty. slept sparingly. drank unwisely. then today decided that you cannot, after all, grow into your surroundings. I'll always be a weirdo, i can't even camouflage in my 'regular' clothing. oh well.

weekend shots... *not uploading!*

rainy food season

Rainy season's here. I've got loads of mosquito bites to prove it. In this land of many (not) options, between the rainy and the dry season I'd take the rain, cause you can wake with a better feeling that, your odds are pretty good that people wont come 'visiting' in the downpour. When it pours in Trinidad, it pours. What do i do with all this time? Mimic the food channel

And one day later

I find myself seated in Rituals in what I like to call our Wall Street district,
in flip flops and jeans, hair combed by the wind
drinking overpriced coffee, making weird faces and the mister in the business suit nearby,
trying to ignore the black musician intricately explain himself'
speaking slowly so the white girl with the accent understands him
though she speaks English faster than him,
listening now to Audioslave on my earplug,
having just finished an interview, with Faye Ann's sister who rolled her eyes every time i called her Faye Ann's sister,
in a quaint room at the back of KFC St James,
in a building where were it not for this meeting you,
as I have,
would certainly pass without a second glance on your clever detour to outsmart afternoon traffic, rubbing shoulders with talented producers whose names I didn't catch,
preparing now
for a meeting with a client tomorrow
to convince her that I, and I only can shoot her wedding and have it remembered the way she wants.
some days it's pretty ok being me

Weird, Anti-Social, Deviant or D?

Fayola saw my tattoo today, the one on my arm and, logically asked what it meant. didn't think she'd fall for the "it's just curly gibberish" so I tried the "it's my favourite 3 letters." She then goes into a laughing fit, a real breakdown I tell you. Then says, gasping "OMG this is it you are crazy!" Now... I mean did I miss something?

somehow wound up reading Wikipedia later (Fine, was searching for a personality I feel comfortable with so I can commence work on developing that personality.) When did Anti-social (opposing accepted social norms), Deviant (deviating from social norms) and Weird (deviating from the normal, unusual character or behaviour) become such abysmally negative words?


Psh. the images are from a walk in the park around recently 2am

Brand New Sowing Season (Yeah)

Found them on a mix tape i swiped form Su's ride and been impossible to get the CD out the player since. Bought my friend now in London a very dainty card t opost... Took forever to choose it too and therein lies my current shortness with my current pseudo boyfriend. I miss getting mix-tapes and cards. Regardless of what i say, Aniston in exasperation in - The Breakup: "Every girl likes flowers."

the car accident

this is how it went down. precisely. swear.

heading east on Tragarete Road. pull over to Republic's ATM block after Cipriani Blvd - pissed because RBTT's is ages away and in the high traffic area but not too much because their receipt still confuses the daylight out of me.

Successful trip at the ATM, jumps in car - left idling with confidence in my crime ridden country; that i WOULD be ok. looks up and down - pauses at the mentally challenged individual waiting to cross one car down. pulls SLOWLY off curb, back into Westbound traffic and WHAM!

more and pics later...

Gnarls Barkley - Going On

so this is one of the few songs that make me aspire to be a back up singer! hey I can dream! and it's nice and short, 3 mins is far more than enough work out for one go. Imagine me doing the kangaroo-hop-pop with 'Bette Davis Eyes' and The Fish. Bloody, I should do it. matta fact I will do it! might. maybe. not.

Sing with me
"anyone that needs what they want
and doesn't want what they need
I want nothing to do with. doooo withhhhh!
andddd to do what I want
and to do as I please
is what's on my to-do list. dooooo lisssssst.
and I'll see you when you get back but I'm going onnnnnnnn

penny for your vote?

oooow we! they've gone and called a snap elections. Whatever. It's not that I'm not interested in politics because I'm looking for someone to cut me an easy break. It's because there is no one, in the vast options of 2, that I can support with any logic. In one corner we've got he egotistical fascist tyrant bellowing for an authoritarian state, the fact that we're so multi-racial and multi-religious might be the mint that saves us from total totalitarianism.

I am however, totally down for some riots. Street protest, car rocking building burning, I'M IN!

Today I dealth with government people

You can't trick them. Reaching for 7 doesn't matter because they're getting there for 8.20. Went to renew my permit. Epic. Cashier was late, there was a spranger on the staircase, bargaining your time for your money. If he had you there for over 40 seconds you were a goner, would give him a buck just to be rid of him.

Love old people. If you're over 65 you don't pay, so there. And still they grumble about the wait, like they have somewhere to go... backgammon on the promenade, the tables are literally stuck to the foundation: going nowhere... and why are they driving? Bless their heart.
But I'll tell you how i knew this day was gonna be off. The landlord had the grass cut and completely threw off my senses. It's my only marking, reverse until the pant with the yellow stripes lean and touches the pot of the pickery one. Now no plant, no shrub. had to inch my way back. jerking every second.

Went to do my eyebrows later and whaddya know, no change in ma purse. First off I ha vent spent a dime in over 4 days, last time i went in my purse was... don't recall. Gas money is in the door compartment, nuts and 'water on the highway' funds lay in the sunvisor. So i offered to do the chicken for my barber. he says yes. i do it. he says he no; thought it was reinvented into something sexier by now. so I'm still owing the barber, who wants to live with that hanging over their head?

Easter for Nerds

While you partied and the Christians prayed – I watched Tele. To be precise, watched the tube, then movies downloaded on the Mac, then Pirates on the HP- ‘cause the Mac can’t read them, some super power Mac.

Watched Season 4 of the Office and if you don’t dig Office.... uh more power to you and your well cultivated sense of humor, mine's still in shambles. But the gang is funny, don’t bother comparing with the UK version, well you very well can, don’t bother me one bit - but US version is phun-knee! Dwight – one of a kind, STANLEY! Kevin lol, sigh.

Caught a bit of Bang Bang theory, Sheldon can probably rap pretty well, the length of his tirades are imPRESSive. NCIS marathon, whoohoo! Finally saw Inglorious Bastards, WHOOOHOOO! And Shutter Island, bleh. And The Blind Side, eye roll. And Bounty Hunter, I don’t know why. And Mr. Fox, phun-knee.

I also:
Washed the front and half the rear glass of the ride – that’s all the one bucket WASA approved could do.
Made chicken casserole, or something like it, maybe upload some pics one day...
Read a book - Shanghai Baby, nice spasms of literary ingenuity.

My friends went out. I saved my entire 1200 weekend's pittrance allowance (300 a day according to his calculations. psh). You'd think I'd go get a real job so i could test this 'Ms Independent' thingy huh... psh

Saw a dog howl in acute agony this morning and if that wasn't the most heart wrenching thing ever then... well I guess it just isn't. And it probably wasn't. neertehless, after that display I decided to put someone out of their misery (which is really what i wanted to do to the dog, but there were hordes of people standing around and you know they can get finicky about these simple things) Who was the lucky person? My graphics designer for one, though that in it self is being presumptuous since the SOB, cutie that he is, haven't designed not one fickle of the promised lot friendship is paying for.
I'm also giving up on my IT guy friend who's had my laptop for ages, 1/4 of the reason I'm not posting pics.
Yup, so cancelling these 2 will put me out of my misery, ever so slightly.

whirl around

this week has merged itself quite tastefully into next. As if the one didn't even existed. already my excitement over panting my hundreds of useless thoughts here have began to waiver, surely nothing some slow days won't fix.
Truly too I intended to share here massive doses of my mediocre photography at you guys, hit you before you fully realised you've just wasted a wholly productive minute viewing pointless (though captivating if I do say so my self [as i did] and hence totally understandably irresistible)
Take the carrot cake muffins Raquel and I made 2 nights ago, of which I have all of 7 pics and helped very minute bits. What affects that is I have Internet access here, but! my photos upload through the nifty slot provided by that clever laptop of mine. Why on earth should i be made to the task of saving and reloading on a desktop? meet lazy.

Week of Disappointments

...
Every time I chastise myself for going on that god-awful boat it’s with an 80% self conviction, accepting as fact that I’m as easily influenced as Mr. Potato Head play-doh in a chubby kid’s hand. There I was chilled on the upper deck of the dirty thing because the upper deck is where the socialites and people just not having fun for an assortment of reasons; mine being self disgust with my lack of backbone. And here's the thing - I offered to buy the bloody ticket, ya know, support the venture. But nooooo: “Yuh hafta come tuh make up numbers!” Then I squander a good eight to eleven minutes obsessing on whether my presence would indeed count, would I be missed? You don’t want to know the abyss of doubt and self degradation this spiraled in to.

Wore black spiky things to the “Rave” party on Saturday: sigh of disappointment. The concept of rave here, as I’ve been duped elsewhere, is the Alternative music played on 95.1FM (bless their heart) but I swear! Alternative, Dance, Reggaeton, anything but dub and soca, if you call it as it is people will still show up… for the free drinks anyway.
‘Free drinks from 2:00AM to 2.30AM’, exactly what brand of bull is this? How much beer, cheap rum and coke and tequila can any rational person chug in half hour? Mas importante, it wholly does not complement my ‘enter free before 10:30’ credo as I’m bound to be too wasted to reckon its 2am at 2am. Even if I did, it’s me and all the other girls-on-a-budget trying to get to the bar without making it completely obvious we’re trying to get to the bar.

Pblished in ETNT Weekly. Bleh

OMG Carnival’s Over?!

What on earth do I do with myself now? Too sudden this climate change, from rainy season to carnival season to dry season, made harsher with calls for water use regulation. And the little kid in us go, “Oh we’ll see,” as we embark on a crusade of purposeful water wastage in what we think is vengeance for not being able to smoke in public, property tax and all other unethical practices made law while we were intoxicated with Alcohol, a safe bottled alternative to water and hence water conserving. That’s right; I brush with the tap running.

What happens when the last band packs it in on Tuesday night is fascinating, if one is easily fascinated. A complete transformation from the minute the ash on our forehead Ash Wednesday gives us amnesty from all sins of yesterday. We become meek, head bowed, humble servants, while thoughts swirl in our head “40 days and 40! nights!!!? Wheyyy!” I’m on your side because giving up chicken is a very big deal in itself and clearly makes one’s heart pure ‘nuff. And not partying, until beachside bikini brams all Easter weekend? Clincher.

Though actually I have been subtly aspiring to reach a Dadi Janki like state of awareness where I can say, truthfully and without smugness, “I don’t club.” For now I am, in fact, part of an elite group of girls who have never had their picture taken in Zen’s washroom; or any other club’s or washroom for that matter. A loud spot in a dark corner, less than 7 pushes to the bar is fun enough. And this is precisely where we’ll be for the next 40 days and 40 nights; we don’t participate in ‘Lent’.

***Published in ETNT Weekly Magz 2.03.2010 Bleh

my lovely lady yelps

Saw that werewolf garbage last Saturday. Wolfman. What a load of psh! Just because Benicio DelToro's name is delicious to pronounce, really. Slept through a satisfying portion. Always look for the silver lining: warm pop corn, totally treatttttt! Futile effort it is trying to gauge the distance and time to the top of the line in time catch the old till running out and fresh pop overflowing in. Gold lining on the sliver cloud, Jo said my yelps turns him on... eeeeek!

From whence they came

Have got a headache the size of a chicken coop. Last night there was an accident, impressive, talking NASCAR quality with long line of fire and everything. Saw it on my way from the hairdresser, who cut my hair again. Woman's got a grudge against lenght. She trims a good to inches under the 'spilt ends' act. Bumped my ride a bit going on to the PBR in El Dorado, seriously something needs to be done about that corner, no one can see the No Left Turn sign, which makes no sense anyway because making a left turn there is in fact very practical and possible and even the lights work in sync to encourage turning left.
Thing is, I happened to see the accident, on my way from the hairdresser, having bumped my ride, in an attempt to not hang out with my current douche I'm hanging out with too much.
Now here I am with a headache the size of a chicken coop waiting on douche to bring me proteins & veggies. horrid little cycle this horrid little world ain it.

WASA & Valentine’s Day

Last week Saturday took a walk along High Street, don’t get in a fuss about which Saturday it was, the date’s not the moral of the story. When I bumped into a gal I stuck out Secondary School with, nothing to do with her. And Ayanna* joyous at the reunion (I was a bit of a ringleader of the wrong sort) immediately invited me to the WASA fete with her. What I found marvelous about this is how it proves my theory right, if someone didn’t like you 5 years ago, maturity does not necessarily change that. It’s not like food this like and dislike, take paw-paw, I hated that frigging thing, so much I thought it punishment when I had to eat it. These days I love me some pawpaw, yes sir.

But me having not liked Ayanna has not changed. yes I was young and hot-blooded and prone to sporadically not liking people. But in this case that isn’t the case. See, time doesn’t change everything and Ayanna’s loud abrasive obnoxious manner has gotten more pronounced as she found herself, or possibly it’s just absence having made the heart grow fond of its absence. The girl’s LOUD. Loud I tell you. The invite was given to I and all the pirates in range.

Quiet gentle soul I may be but the invite beckoned, most of all because her brother, still hott as ever, said he’d pick me up. Dashing though didn’t cut it; WASA ain’ for the faint hearted or the quiet souls. Did my first and last of that. Moral of the story: avoid loud obnoxious people

Next time you hear from me it’ll be after Valentine’s Day and… I’m not ruining it for anyone by bringing this up, am I? Get the girl a present cheapskate.

*Ayanna is her real name.

**printed in ETNT magazine. bhah

10 Items or Less

Why am I still pretending to have a job? because Einstein, you cannot exactly hit it off with a suitor if in answer to the dumb-as-ass question "Where do you work?" one says "nowhere." Watch your future free meals walk away...

I do watch too much movies. honest. '10 Items or Less' the half slab story of the day. M Freeman acts as a free spirited actor with a bit of femininity - knuckle bites & giggles - having a career semi crisis, going through bouts of self discovery and practicing a scary inability to not talk to strangers. Digestable doses of eccentric with bits and pieces of weird and hopelessness. Sheldon from BBT (big ban theory ;/) was there... bazzinga! Liked it because all it takes is for em to see, sense or imagine any likeness between me and the hero/heroine and I'm an advocate, blogging up DVD sales. Like the whole List of 10 things blah blah... makes life just that necessary bit simpler. "10 things I Hate about you." 10 Reasons I Like Cheerios. 10 Reasons Soca sucks. 10 things expired in my refrigerator

chicken vegan

I was musing wistfully about the fate of chickens. Triggered by Natalie Portman's vegan campaign and these delectable chicken fries with honey mustard almost completely gone. Even though when buying it I was irritated with myself for lining up humbly supporting more USofA food giants squashing the shadow beni culture of our nation. Of course I didn't think about Natalie's stance at that particular time. Truth is I do like a lot of people fall under the vegetarian-who-eats-only-chicken umbrella. I'm not Complete moron so I don't proclaim "I'm a vegetarian but I only eat fish... and chicken!"
I think over the next ten years or so give or give, I'll phase out this chicken eating, cant be that hard. Psh. plus I'll still have feesh